Fast?

 Goodafter I was reading one of my pro-ana blogs (quite helpful) and one girl went on a 5 day fast and lost 8 pounds, and at this point i am desperate. So i am starting a WATER fast tomorrow, i hope i last =) 

On a lighter note

I go to camp from 8:45-3:30 i'm a counselor and its sooooo fun i cannot believe i'm being paid to have soooo much fun. We play so much sports i get a good exercise while i'm there too. So here's my schedule:

1.Wake up

2.Go in on demand and do 20min workouts 

3. bathe

4.drink water for breakfast

5.camp-(lunch is water)

6.come home- snake is icepops (35cals each AMAZING) 

7. yogurt for dinner 

8. sleep 

This is great, i am always busy (or at least most of the day) so i rarely find time to overeat.

Welcome Back!

Well the welcome back is mostly for me -_-. I haven't posted in forever and i am very sorry, i had weight loss goals and i totally did not stick to it. By July i was previously supposed to be around 160lbs, but because of over eating and the fat girl in me i ended up the exact weight i was in the beginning of the summer. Well i realized that i want to go back to school, and all eyes on me because i look thin again.

Well enough of about goal and breaking them because i am back on track, and 178 ( i haven't been in the 170s since i moved into my new house). Anyways i went to my friends sweet sixteen, and a friend decided to tell me the crap another person said about me, honestly i don't care that the person finds me annoying because its mutual .I dislike him and he hated me, but what made me want to crawl in a sink hole and die was because there were certain comments that i'm an "elephant" . Ugh i just smiled and laugh, but what that dumbassed bitch didn't realized was that comments like that utterly kills me, especially from a guy. BITCH.

Quite Positive

For the first time i have something positive to say because i stayed home the whole day (seniors grad. no school for everyone else!) and i didn't overeat like i felt i would. I do have a confession though my brother decided to treat me to lunch by taking me to McDonald (THANKS A LOT BRO) frankly i just got a salad and water and then just threw the salad away, watching all the fat people eating their food wanted to make me gag, honestly it was disgusting but at the same time i was jealous that they can wear whatever they want, eat whatever they want, and not give a damn. ME. On  the other had i feel like the whole world is watching me saying: "look at that fat girl, she shouldn't be eating that". Ugh but still i see now how strong i am and i'm not afraid for the summer anymore. I occupied my time by watching soap operas on my laptop (sad but it works) in my room, i get to lazy to get up from my bed to find something to nibble on, and if i get hunger pains i grab my in-hand-reach bottle of water, tea, or coffee. So far if i lose 10lbs every week+2days i will be at least 110lbs by the beginning of August, and i will showup all those ass-holes who ever called me fat (yeah i was the loser in elementary school who got made fun of for being fat). Well i started this diet June 1st weighing a whooping 189 a week and 1-day later i am 181.2 i should be 180 tomorrow, and such and such. Well i am just excited at the thought of being skinny =), i know i cannot give up now!

Haven't Blogged For A While...

Sorry i haven't blogged in a while, i was pretty ashamed of myself this week-end. The weekend fast didn't work. I think that going straight from eating a little to no eating is going to take a bit of work. But after my two day binge i was only one pound bigger than what my schedule, but i went to the gym today and worked my heart out i am back on schedule and planning to keep it that way (by the way my schedule is pretty much losing one pound each day from June1st until August 31th). So far life gets harder and harder than easier, now that school is ending so many cookouts and dinner-party's and sweet-sixteens UGH. So far i have 5 in June usually a typical teenager would love all these beer-infested parties, but i don't know i know this isn't going to help my diet. Yet missing the party of the century isn't fun either, WHY MUST ANA CONSUME ME. Well schools over after 2:10 on Monday so here's my summer plan:
-Wake up whenever
-1 to 2mile Jog/Run
-100 calorie breakfast
-SAT study
-10 to 50 calorie snack
-100 to 200 calorie lunch
-boredom (probably hang out with friends, or more exercise)
-Mom comes home--go to gym
-dinner 100 to 200 calorie
~so at the max i'll eat 550 calories~

So Far So Nice

Today went well i lost 3lbs today (well it hasn't ended lets hope i don't eat anything before i go to bed) yesterday after my binge & purge i only gained .5lbs (thank God). I didn't go to the gym today i just started a 3-day fast, since on week ends i eat A LOT because i am home all day hopefully this diet plan will work for each week end.  

Crude Irony

If you read my last post of me saying how i haven't had pizza in a year and how i think i got the hang of portion control... WRONG!!! Sadly my mother decided not to cook and buy pizza instead and my fat-ass tried to resist, i told myself one and thats it, well one turned to two and two turned into four. Needless to say i didn't have a fun time purging (i gained one pound i went from 184-185.5). The sad part is you see a bunch of girls my age with parents that watch what you eat, and really emphasize family dinners and eating together. But my family doesn't it's not like we hate each other, it just that we'd rather be in our own room to eat. So there was no one there to either stop me (until my sister came and ripped the fourth piece of pizza out of my mouth saying fat-ass, but hey i don't blame her i am one) nor to make me eat, it's all up to me like i am living alone and i can eat like a king or eat nothing. it's all up to me. Honestly next time my mother ask what would you guys like for dinner? i'll definitely say SALAD.

Another Day Another Pizza

Don't worry i haven't eaten pizza in a year =).

Well came home from school and had one thing in mind... BLOGGING, in fact this is quite addicting which for me is a good thing, so i don't concentrate on food.

How Did My Day Go?
Well i started out going to school, i didn't eat any breakfast (i'm not a morning person), for lunch

• 1 cup of shredded carrots
• 1 cup of cheerios
• 1 bottle of water 

For a total of 162 calories consumed. After when i came home i ate 1 cup of cheerios again so another 110 calories.
Honestly i though eating less would be very hard but after the first day i don't get an urge to eat anymore, so in two weeks i will start a fast for a week. Why not next week? Well my schools exams start next week and if my stomach is totally empty, my body will kill me (literary). I am very proud of myself, usually i will eat little during lunch then come home and binge but since Monday (when i started my diet) i learned what is called PORTION CONTROL!

Is Their Someone Listening

Honestly i don't care if one person reads this blog or a thousand.

I am new to blogging, so don't expect me to be a master at it the first time. Well the reason for this blog is to keep me on track for my summer diet, i want to lose 50 pounds in 3 months impossible? not really. If i lose one pound a day i can reach my goal (which i probably should have mentioned first) here are my stats:

Hight: 5'7

CW: 187

HW:219

LW: 169

GW:120

as you can see i fluctuate from 170-190, this has been happening for two years now. The summer of my eighth grade i went from 219-170, and the high i felt was unbeatable. First i was a size eleven and i could fit Hollister clothes (Which in eighth grade was a BIG deal), and i was not only healthier i could actually run a whole mile nonstop (yeah it sucks, but for a fat girl it's a VERY big deal). I would look in the mirror and love what i saw for the first time, i haven't felt that for two years. 11th grade in my school can go to prom, i don't really plan on it but i wanna know that if i did go i would look beautiful, because right now i don't. Speaking of Prom i want to have a boyfriend for the first time, not to sound conceded but i'm not ugly (well at least i don't think so) i just have an ugly body that covers the beauty.

Well enough about my history let me remind you that i will try to lose 50lbs (also my mom will give me an ipod touch if i get down to 150). I remember when my parents bought this huge house banking on the fact that my dad will get a job. Eventually my dad didn't get a job and still hasn't gotten one (its not that he doesn't try, just no opportunity) so my mother had to pay mortgage of 3,000 in a 3,500 monthly salary, so take out bills, she had about 50$ to spend on food for 3kids and 2adults. Where am i going with this? Well because of our poorness i lost 49 pounds, and the ironic part was i didn't even try it just happened, no exercise, no counting calories, just eating a WHOLE lot less. Well we moved out of that hell of a house, into a 1 thousand dollar mortgage house, which leave my mom with a lot more money to buy food. So if you haven't realized losing 50lbs will be a lot harder. I tried multiple times during the school year to lose weight, and it was working until i tore my ACL, and don't ask me what it is all i know that it is in your knee and its very serious. I had my surgery in March and i still cannot play sports (i play basketball, and lacrosse for my school) for another 2 months, but now i have a gym membership and i workout there or i just plain out run.

Well now you know a bit about me, i am pro-ana, because i basically starved myself to lose 49lbs it worked once and it will work twice as fast especially if i am exercising.